we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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