I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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