we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
