why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
