i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
