I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
