why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
