I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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