I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
