dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
