how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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