i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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