People in love make me want to vomit
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
