obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She bit a glass in half.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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