i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
