Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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