I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Two words: blizzard sex
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
