She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
