I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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