When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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