there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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