You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
