Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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