thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
