I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
