So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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