its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
a search helicopter?!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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