i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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