I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Found the puke drawer
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize