So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
