great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
