I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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