I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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