Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize