Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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