my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
