Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
