Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
