dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
