tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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