pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
