I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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