was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize