My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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