is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
