My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
