suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
