I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
