: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
