I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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