Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If its not for food we ain't going out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
