Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
