You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize