Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize