Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
