you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
