She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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