omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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