Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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