Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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