I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
