Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
