I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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