i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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