I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
