I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I said "one day" and that day is not today
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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