Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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