nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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